The Wellness CenterThe last half of my holiday on Palawan Island was spent at a wellness center called Bahay Kalipay, which means Happiness Home in Filipino. This was something I wouldn’t have done with Martin. At the center, I wanted to deepen my yoga practice and reconnect with myself.
The wellness center offered about four structured activities every day, such as yoga, meditation and other activities focused on reflection. Also included in the price of my accommodation were three meals and two snacks, all raw and vegan. They also offered massages and other holistic therapies for extra fees.
The food at Bahay Kalipay was unforgettable. Even though I couldn’t have coffee or bread, I had all the coconuts I cared to eat, smoothies, tropical fruits, and fresh vegetables. I felt amazing.
I enjoyed most of the structured activities at the center. I loved the day at the beach, even though it was raining, because of the other people who were interesting to talk to.
One night we had a belly dancing class. The six of us women who attended willingly looked foolish and felt uncomfortable in front of each other as we tried to convince our bodies to move like Shakira. Afterwards, we fell into an impromptu dance party full of dancing from our hearts, laughing, and literally hanging from the ceiling. I felt accepted and loved by everyone in that crazy space.
While I’m happy with my time at the center, I wasn’t challenged to deepen my yoga practice since all the classes were for beginners. I tried to modify them to challenge myself, but I had wanted the help of a teacher to challenge me and that didn’t happen.
One day the afternoon yoga class was Partner Yoga (this is where you use each other to get into the poses deeper). I felt very disappointed. I didn’t want to do Partner Yoga since I had been modifying the yoga classes already and with a partner I wouldn’t be able to do that.
I had a few hours to myself before the class. I love learning about the brain, so I started reading a book called Buddha’s Brain, which is about the effect of meditation on the brain. I was fascinated.
As the time for Partner Yoga came closer I really didn’t want to go. So, instead I resolved to practice my arm balances on my own. I looked up balasana (crow pose) on the internet to find ways to deepen it, new ways to get into it, and tips for staying in it longer. At the end of the article, it said that balasana is a good pose to do with a partner.
Well shoot.
Maybe deepening my yoga practice isn’t about doing balasana but is about being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Partner Yoga made me feel uncomfortable. Fine. I’ll go.
I ran back to my room, changed my clothes, grabbed my mat and water, and ran to the classroom, thankful I was only a few minutes late. But when I arrived, no one was doing yoga.
Instead, a Buddhist monk was explaining the effect of meditation on our brains! I almost cried I was so happy. Soon, I discovered he had a machine that each of us would put on our heads to see the areas of our brains working and at what frequencies.
When he put the machine on my head I didn’t have to tell him how I felt. My whole brain was on fire. All the frequencies were moving so quickly he had to turn down the sensitivities of the machine. Even then, there was a bright white ball of intense activity in one spot on my brain. He said that was joy. Overwhelming joy.
Homeward Bound
As I boarded the plane to go back to Shenzhen, I reflected on how much I had changed in the past few years. I had always heard that traveling changes you and I had been curious as to how it would change me. The biggest change I see is the love I have for myself. I am happy with who I am. I am confident that my decisions will bring me the right mix of adventure, comfort, and safety. Many people at the center had been searching for themselves. I was surprised to learn that I wasn’t. I had found myself and I liked her.
I may not have gotten better at arm balances or deepened my back bends, but I was reminded that yoga is more about accepting and loving yourself today and not yearning for what was or what has yet to come.
This was my first solo vacation, but it was definitely not my last.
We like you too!