I feel like I finally found my feet. I’ve grounded myself and no longer feel like I’m playing a perpetual game of fruit-basket upset. (How many 4-Her’s get that reference?!) Although I felt quite grounded, I neglected to take many photos…oops!
Social
Socializing became more important for me during March. I’m not an introvert, but I’m also not an extrovert. I cherish my alone time, and I need more of it than Martin does. However, in March I found myself craving more social adventures. So, I said yes to evening walks around the neighborhood, yes to lunches and dinners, and yes to birthday brunches. I said yes to a clothing exchange (desperately needed since second-hand stores still have an unfortunate stigma in China and thus are practically nonexistent). I said yes to watching The Big Lebowski on its 21st anniversary at a local brewery. I said yes to ice skating (indoors so that the ice doesn’t melt).
But my favorite social event this month was helping two of my friends get engaged.
He is from the USA, and she is from Indonesia. They were among the first people we met when we moved to Shenzhen in 2016. She is quite musical, and so many of their friends are musicians.
One beautiful Saturday when the weather wasn’t rainy and she wasn’t getting her wisdom teeth pulled out, a group of us met up in Lian Hua Shan Park. We had a guitar, some picnic supplies, and a chorus of lyrics at the ready. He shared his location with us on WeChat, and we nervously watched our phones as they walked dangerously close to our terrible hiding spot. After they had sat down and begun their picnic, we clumsily trudged through the lawn toward them. We reached the two lovebirds and surrounded them singing this beautiful song. In the middle of the song, he took a knee, and she said yes. We had amassed a crowd by this time and everyone was singing and cheering. I felt so honored to be included in their special moment.
Food
Feeling grounded also made it easier to do some cooking. I made some epic dairy-free, gluten-free chocolate brownies using sweet potatoes as the flour (inspired by Paleo Gluten Free Eats). I brought them to the clothing exchange where they were promptly gobbled up.
I also made a batch of hummus, which doesn’t sound that impressive until you realize that finding chickpeas requires a trip to a specialty store.
I’ve also been thoroughly enjoying my fixed soy milk maker and even making an extra batch or two for one of my friends.
Despite cooking at home more often, we went to our friend’s vegan restaurant, V Station a couple of times. Her vegan chocolate cake is beyond amazing. This friend also told us about a coffee expo which had ice cream made from Oatly. Of course we went and left caffeinated, sugared, and donning an awesome new cat drawstring backpack.
Life in Shenzhen
As any expat living in China knows, there are Good China Days and Bad China Days. The never-ending and far-reaching sewer reconstruction both on and off campus definitely has contributed to several Bad China Days. At the beginning of this month, I found myself in stuck in a string of Bad China Days. On these days, I dreamed of my escape to a blissful utopia.
Then, my dear cousin – one of my favorite people in the world – bought tickets to visit me at the end of April.
Suddenly my perspective shifted. Instead of noticing the annoyances of Shenzhen, I looked for the things I want to share with her, the things that make life in Shenzhen interesting. I became much less annoyed by petty things (like e-bikes on the sidewalk) and more grateful for things like good weather, great friends, a good job, and a feeling of satisfaction when I can do something in Chinese.
One of the books I read this month was The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams. In this book, the Dalai Lama said, “Wherever you have friends, that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.” They also said that one of the three greatest factors that increase happiness is “our ability to reframe our situation more positively.” Both of these quotes really made me realize how happiness is something that anyone can be right now.
With this reframed positive perspective, my life in Shenzhen this month has been filled with mostly Good China Days. Whether I was visiting the Shenzhen Museum, discovering a new coffee shop, or helping a friend prepare for her IELTS test, I was generally happy about my life here.
Looking Ahead to April
Next week I need to decide if I’m staying at my current job or if we will leave Shenzhen. A few months ago, I thought I had made my decision but after a month of happy life here, I’m not so sure what I’ll do.
I expect April to be quite busy. We have trips to Shanghai and Singapore planned in addition to the week-long adventure we’ll have in Hong Kong/Shenzhen with my cousin. Plus my master’s program has officially started and already I’m blissfully drowning in a pile of books to read.
By the Numbers
- 31 Days in Shenzhen, China
- 361,866 steps taken (more than February)
- 3 books read
- Bridge of Clay by Markus Zusak (worth the read)
- The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams
- Practical English Language Teaching by David Nunan (editor)
- 71 hours of English taught
- 8 hours Chinese classes taken
- 3,000 squats (100 every day!)
Another great post, Jill. Thanks! Wondering what you two will decide to do….?